Jurassic Park db forum

*Throws bone into mouth of the Rancor, killing it*

whats with the baby

The bunnies just freak me out.

It saw you.

lol the good old it saw you.

A man walks into a pub with a shoe box under his arm wheich he carefully places on the bar. He then asks the bar man if he will give him a drink if he can show him something truly amazing.
"I've seen it all mate" replies the barmen "You name it I've seen it or served it. You can't amaze me"
"But if I can will you give me a free drink?"
"Look mate if you can amaze me I'll give you free drinks all night"
With that the man removes the lid from the shoe box and fetches out a minature grand piano. Next he reaches in and removes a perfectly formed little man about a foot high in tuxedo and tails. The little man walks over to the piano and starts playing BEETHOVEN's Piano Sonata No 17 in d perfectly. The bar man was totally amazed and true to his word gives the man free drinks all night. Towards the end of the evening the barman asks him how he came by such an amazing thing.
"Well you see I was fishing by the canal and fetched up this really odd looking guiness bottle. AS I was cleaning it up for a closer look a genie came out and granted me a wish"
"Cor blimey, have you still got the bottle?"
"Yeah, here. In fact you can have it. He'll only grant you one wish, I've tried"
With that he removes a weird looking guiness bottle from his pocket and hands it to the bar man before he leaves.
The next day the man returns to the same pub and finds it covered wall to wall with noisy quacking ducks. Everywhere he looks there's ducks ducks and more ducks. Just then the barman comes out of no where and grabs his arm.
"Hey you some Genie that is I asked for a million bucks and he filled my bar with all these ducks and no money any where!"
"Well hell you didn't think I asked for a 12 inch pianist did you!"

...
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."

two can play at that game

eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww creepy ugly babies!

but you still love them