Jurassic Park db forum

Here's the first part of my unfinished script:

1. EXT. ISLA SORNA - DAY

An overhead view of the island as the camera moves over the ridges filled with tropical trees.

2. EXT. ISLA SORNA JUNGLE - DAY

A group of camo dressed men move through the thick vegetation, some holding large rifles. The group also includes few individuals armed with weapons that resemble a gun, but are connected to huge metallic backbags with black wires.

One of the men takes his radio and places the receiver to his ear.

CAMO DRESSED MAN: This is Veggie speaking to Carnie. How close are we?

MAN IN RADIO: You are seventy meters away and closing. Try not to be heard.

3. INT. BIOSYN COMMUNICATION TENT - DAY

CAMO DRESSED MAN IN RADIO: Veggie closing in. Over and out.

A technician listens the answer in a tent filled with radio equipment. A middle-aged man with a balding gray hair stands next to him, also listening.

4. EXT. ISLA SORNA JUNGLE - DAY

The man furthest to the group stops ahead and eyes the jungle. He waves his hand to the others to make them stop.

The jungle is DEAD SILENT.

CAMO DRESSED MAN: (whispering to the radio)This is Veggie to Carnie. We're in the trail.

The group silently spreads around the area, getting closer to their target. One of the men moves over

GIGANTIC FOOTPRINTS

with three toes heading forward in straight line. The leading man looks around him and gives the signal.

The men enter the area where their target is located. They look around, but this spot of the jungle is very lush with vegetation, blocking the visibility. The leader slowly walks ahead the others and looks at a spot in the trees. Suddenly something huge moves and there's a growl. The earth shakes as a gigantic figure heads towards them, it's huge sail being the most visible part, that towers over the largest bushes. A SPINOSAURUS. And it has spotted the men, it's massive crocodilian jaws opening to let out a deafening bellow.

GROUP LEADING MAN: Get to the position!

The men with backpack weapons get in a line and drop down, resting on their other knee, aiming their bizarre looking weapons at the beast. The Spinosaurus is now coming at their faces in full speed, a terrifying sight to behold.

GROUP LEADING MAN: Nail it!!

The men fire their weapons, but, instead of bullets, the guns send out laserbeams that lock into the creature. The animal is almost on top of them.

GROUP LEADING MAN: Nail it now!!!!

The barrels of the guns explode in a rain of sparks and the Spinosaurus stops dead in it's tracks, having been hit by several currents of electricity sent by the beams. The behemoth screams in pain, a terrifying sound that echoes in the jungle. It stumbles backwards, it's chest sizzling and burning from the hits.

GROUP LEADING MAN: Wahlberg! It's your turn! Trang that son of a bitch!

One of the men steps forward and aims his rifle at the dinosaur. He pulls the trigger and the air pressured weapon fires a dart into the air, hitting the giant Spinosaur in the neck with precision. The animal lunges forward, trying to grab the closest men to it's deadly mouth, but receives another bolt from the tazers. The huge animal, now weakened by the tranquilizer, drops down to it's belly, giving one final vocalizing noice of desperation before it's head crashes to the muddy ground, coming to rest in front of the men.

Everyone cheers as the leading man walks up to the fearsome looking dinosaur, that is now knocked out, and pulls out a syringe. He removes the protective plastic off the needle and then sticks it into the animal's neck. He pulls back and looks at the blood contained in the syringe. The camera zooms into the red liquid.

5. INT. MONTANA CITY HALL AUDITORIUM - DAY

A wide view of the auditorium, that is full of people. A spotlight is focused on the farthest spot at the other side with a familiar man behind the microphone. We recognize this man as Alan Grant, now having grown a beard, answering questions to all the excited people. A young man raises his arm to ask a question.

GRANT: You there.

MAN: What I wanted to ask is, after so many years, how did you feel when coming in contact with those animals again?

GRANT: When being chased by a six meter tall fish eater I didn't feel happy, that's for sure.

Many people in the auditorium chuckle at the comment. Another person, this time an aged man in the audience presents a question.

AGED MAN: So, when being in mortal danger you felt that these things shouldn't be around?

GRANT: I've been in contact with the "things" for two times. To tell you the truth, even when they're threatening my life, they still fascinate me. They always have. Even before I first got to see a live one. I can tell that it isn't their fault to be around killing people. The blame really goes to a dream of an old fool who wanted to play God. I'm still sad to hear that he died recently. After all, he was my original founder before the first accident.

AGED MAN: So you think that Hammond's dinosaurs should be preserved?

GRANT: Unfortunately I don't have an answer to that.

WOMAN: Have you happened to hear that one of the people who went to Nublar with you, the guy named Ian Malcolm, has pressed charges to the governments for not doing anything about the problem?

GRANT: Yes, I have heard about this. Malcolm........isn't exactly my favourite type of person and we haven't spoken much, but I agree about doing something concerning the ones in charge. Many people lost their lives in those places and it is definitely not something to be taken lightly. Someone has to pay the price. And, in this case, the people in the U.S government for ignoring all this. I still thank the marines for getting me out of Site B. I wouldn't be speaking here without their help.

A man in the audience is listening Grant's lecture. He is holding a folded newspaper in his hand, tapping it to his arched knee. He suddenly reaches his hand up.

GRANT: Yes, you in the first row.

The man gets up from his bench.

MAN: Hi, my name is Richard Levine and I'm gathering information about John Hammond's project. I wanted to ask do you want to go back to the island? After all this?

Grant is silent for a moment and suddenly smiles at Levine and his comment.

GRANT: Yes, I would go back.

LEVINE: Thanks for the answer, Mr. Grant. I truly appreciate it.

Levine sits back to his bench as Grant keeps answering questions.




There's plenty more on the way, so stay tuned.........

hey cool! /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

Dino Slayer, I think you're on the right track. You've definitely got a good pace to start with, and you're familiar with script format. But, Grant's intro is too reminiscent of the JP3 lecture hall scene. Also, your opening is cool, but I think that the spino shoudn't make its first appearance 2 minutes into the movie. It would be better to use a dinosaur that's not a big "star" in the JP franchise. I say that because you want to tease your audience of what is to come and save the best for last. Keep that opening, though, just replace the spino with a dino that hasn't gotten much screen time. Perhaps an adult Dilophosaurus, or an ankylosaurus?

Again, I think you are doing well, but I'm just trying to give some constructive criticism.

Nah, I'll keep the Spino in the opening scene. The reason for that is that the audience is already familiar with him because of JP3. The Spino had the surprise at his side in that film. Now it would be great to see him in the very beginning, bringing some early action to the opening. I was originally planning to put another dinosaur there, like the Ceratosaurus, but I think the Spino fits there better because that would pose a better challenge for the men who sedute him, also showing that he is vulnerable, just like any other dino. I really hated his "invincible" role in JP3. But he will still pose a threat.

As for Grant's lecture, I'm sure he goes to interviews and lectures a lot, knowing that hes a paleontologist. Also, I bet he wanted to share his experience and new attitude towards the dinosaurs with the puplic after his first adventure. And let me assure you that this will not be an introduction to his character, but more like a setup for Levine's story. Still, I could change it so hes actually a guest in a tv show. Don't know what show, though. But you're always free to change that part of the script as long as you keep Grant's quotes the exact same way as they are in my version.

Listen, I have now reached the part in my script where Levine is captured, but don't know what to do next. How would I bring him to the facility? You see, his character is knocked out by one of the bad guys and I was planning to have him wake up in the bunker, but I really don't have that part mapped out yet. Any ideas? Hint, his two students, that being Arby from the book and a girl named Liz(I despise the name of Kelly now) are with him after the agents took them hostage. This happened right after their guide was killed by a Dilo(with a small surprise once I get to that part /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" /> ).

Will post the next chapter soon.

Lookin good bud,

Have him Interogated by an unknown man who later turns out to be dodgson or some thing! and have the Kids Lost on the island, or held captive by the Guards in the compound, only to get loose in the compound and create all kinds of havoc!! I dunno, Stuff looks good though!!

O' and just so every one knows IM NO WRITER lol (if yoou couldn't tell already) Like dino I just thought this would be fun, Just Throw some thing up when you got it, I have'nt had nothin in a while so keep burnin the candle Dino Slayer lol

Later peeps,

The second part:

6. EXT. FLORIDA - DAY

A two seat helicopter is hovering over the forest area. Inside sits a man with his instructor, doing his final exam in a flying lesson. The man quickly pulls the control stick and makes the chopper steer to the right. The vehicle glides over a river and halts again close to a row of large trees. The instructor smiles at his student.

INSTRUCTOR: Excellent work, John. You have clearly gotten the skills you need to fly. This definitely brings you the full points. So, what do you want to do next?

JOHN: Let's just head back to the landing pad. I need a drink.

The chopper leaves the large trees and starts to head back home. A brown figure is seen quickly passing the screen from a blurred point, following the helicopter.

JOHN: Now I can take my girlfriend to a ride. I promised to take her to a picnic in the mountains.

INSTRUCTOR: I hope you two have a great time.

The instructor pulls out his cigarette pack and puts one in his mouth.

JOHN: You smoke?

The instructor lights the cigarette and puts the lighter back to his pocket.

INSTRUCTOR: Yeah.

JOHN: When did you start?

INSTRUCTOR: Yesterday.

JOHN: You do know thats bad to your health?

INSTRUCTOR: I guess I do. My wife has been doing it for eleven years.

JOHN: The each to his own, I guess...............

Suddenly the chopper shakes violently as something hits it with great force.

JOHN: What the................?

A giant, winged creature emerges next to the passenger's window and opens it's long, elongated mouth filled with spike-like teeth. The instructor looks to his side as the window is shattered to pieces and the beak comes inside, grabbing his arm to it's grib. The instructor screams, the cigarette dropping from his mouth, as the creature pulls him out of the cockpit, out of view. John, who is now all by himself, is terrified and tries to increase the chopper's speed, trying to fly away.

Another creature emerges farther away. Now we get to see the full body of the PTERANODON, it's wings spread out at the sides, reaching their full length of nine meters. It screeches at John and dives towards him. John panicks and steers the chopper to the left, trying to avoid the reptile. The Pteranodon, however, is too fast, and rams the chopper with great speed, sending it off course. John battles with the controls to keep the chopper in the air.

The Ptera dangles into the tail section with it's talons and repeatedly strikes the fuel line with it's enormous beak, severing the tail-propeller's wiring. John screams as the chopper starts to spin wildly, heading towards the ground. The Pteranodon lets go as the helicopter crashes into the forest and slams into the ground with huge force. The blades impact with the treetrunks and are violently smashed off, flying to all directions. John is knocked on the other seat as the chopper starts to roll downhill, sending mud and dirt to the air. The helicopter finally comes to rest against a tree. John lays still in the cockpit, badly bruised, but still alive.

7. INT. BERKELEY INSTITUTE - DAY

The camera moves through the main corridor as two students head through it, moving past the other students. A twenty year old boy named Arby and his close friend Liz, a girl three years older than him. They are both holding files full of papers from their studies.

LIZ: I can't wait to show Dr. Levine my homework. He will be delighted to get them.

ARBY: Lucky you. I barely got through the research with my messed up diagram of molecular structure of water. I hope he won't smack a C- in my forehead.

LIZ: For the third time, Arby, it's H2O! I'm tired of slipping the answers to you all the time. My grade may suffer if they find out I'm helping you through this. It's so childish.

ARBY: Sorry. I'm far from a perfect chemist. Even you know that.

LIZ: You should read your books.

They pass a group of teens. One of them grins and trips Liz with his foot. She falls flat on her face, dropping her file, the papers spreading on the floor. Everyone in the group laugh as Arby helps her to pick them back up.

TEEN: How's it going, lovebirds?

TEEN2: *laughes* You two are so dorky.

ARBY: Don't you guys have anything better to do?

The teens walk away as Arby picks up the last paper and hands it back to Liz.

ARBY: Are you alright?

LIZ: Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks.

ARBY: Let's go before those losers bring up more trouble.

CUT TO: INT. LEVINE'S OFFICE - DAY

We see Levine sitting behind his chair, his legs resting on the table, watching the news from his television, that is located at the opposite side of the room. There is footage shown in the program that shows the demolished chopper we saw being attacked previously.

REPORTER: It is not known what exactly happened that day, but the man named John Stellinger, who was the only survivor, told the journalists about large and birdlike animals attacking him while he was doing an exam with his instructor, a proffesional pilot Erwin Fellows. Fellows was reported missing the day after the crash took place. He has still not been found and it is suspected that he may have been killed in the accident. Stellinger managed to draw a picture of the creature based on his memory. The result was startlingly similar to an ancient pterodactyl. What does this mean? The experts are thinking that, based on earlier accounts of people seeing unidentified flying animals around North America, that there is a mysterious form of a dinosaur living in the continent. Could there be a possibility that some animals from InGen's top secret facility have migrated over to the mainland? Until we see again, this is Joe Daniels from CNN.

LEVINE: It's a flying reptile, moron.

Levine places the unfolded newspaper he was holding on the table. It's main cover has big letters reading DINOSAUR ASSAULT ON SAN DIEGO and a picture of the T-Rex hunting individuals on the street. Levine gets up from his chair and walks over to another desk next to the wall that is filled with notes and a huge map of Central America. The desk is piled with more newspapers, each having a story of survivor testimonies and reports of unidentified animals resembling a Pteranodon. Levine picks up a pen and draws a cross on the spot in the map close to Honduras.

LEVINE: Bingo..........

The door to the office opens and Arby steps inside with Liz. Levine turns around and walks up to them.

ARBY: Hi, Doc. We have our homework........well, Liz has.

LEVINE: It's okay.

ARBY: So.........you wont, uhm........disqualify me?

LEVINE: Why would I need to? I don't have a bad day. Infact, my day just got a whole lot better.

LIZ: So, what is it, Doc?

LEVINE: Uhm, it's kinda personal.

Arby rolls his eyes.

LEVINE: But I can tell you.

ARBY: Brilliant!

LEVINE: It's nothing, really. I have watched the news about the creatures people have seen around the tropical parts of America for a full year now. I have finally tracked down the place where they come from.

ARBY: Uhm, didn't they come from Sorna? You heard the story of Grant seeing them migrate.

LEVINE: Yes, I actually was in his lecture. It was great, but, no, the animals did not come from Site B.

LIZ: What do you mean?

LEVINE: You see, there's hundreds of miles between the mainland and those little islands. It would take a week for a Pteranodon to transfer it's whole colony over the ocean, a very threacherous ocean too. They would most probably not survive the trip. And the reason for that is that the warm air currents that were around during the time of the dinosaurs have vanished eons ago, therefore preventing them from using it to migrate. No, those animals were heading to the sister islands of Sorna, like Pena and Muerte. Much shorter distance, you know.

ARBY: So, what are they doing in the mainland, then?

LEVINE: That's because they were already in the mainland. Because someone brought them there.

LIZ: Why would anybody do that?

LEVINE: Because breeding extinct creatures is a trillion dollar business. People have thought for twelve years that doing so will make them rich. And many have tried.

ARBY: You're saying that someone actually succeeded?

LEVINE: That's my theory.

LIZ: Why are you so happy about it?

LEVINE: Because I'm going to find out the truth first.

ARBY: You mean you're actually planning to go and seek them out? By yourself?

LEVINE: I'm not just planning it. I'm actually going to do so. I may be gone there in three days.

LIZ: You didn't tell us the exact place.

LEVINE: Sorry, Liz, you're a really kind young woman, but I think you two should keep studying. I will be back in here at three weeks.

ARBY: Are you sure you should go?

LEVINE: I wouldn't worry in your shoes. I will be just fine. Now, I have some preparing left to do, so would you excuse me?

LIZ: *sigh* Fine.

Liz walks out of the office, slowly followed by Arby. Levine then closes the door behind them.

Question, is anyone actually keeping these script-bits together...? I mean, so far it seems like only posting online. BUt is anyone actually keep track of all this...?

Don't ask me. There hasn't really been much activity. I'm the only one as far as I know.

Next part of the script coming up in couple of hours, if anyones still interested to read it.

are we allowed to make revisions and suggestions?

and if we are, are you going to take them seriously? or are you going to say something like "i like my script the way it is" or something of the sort?

i ask because i've tried working with people like that and it wasn't a favorable experience. not to mention it hurts the script itself when that happens


vacation's coming up so i'm going to try to have some time to help you out with this, if you still want some help

I'll gladly accept some help. This is everyone's project anyway. Only one thing to point out. In order to make a working script everyone involved has to think like a filmmaker. How to make it as intelligent as possible, but still simple and entertaining enough to satisfy the crowd and exceed their expectations, to surprise them. A good premise is a thing that must be started with. Nothing too cheesy(like in Sayles script), but still a story that we can believe could happen. Here's my new, modified premise.

The movie opens to Dodgson watching a team through a video link that is sent to take blood samples from a Spinosaurus. The animal is taken down and Dodgson heads to the scene to take it's bloodsample. This is the first time he will see one of the animals upclose.
Levine goes to see a lecture where Alan Grant is talking about his experiences in the two islands. He hears that Ian Malcolm has pressed charges for the staff of InGen after John Hammond's death and the American government for doing nothing about the problem.
Cut to Washington as the government gets concerned about the dinosaurs when a flock of Pteranodons attack a helicopter. Levine hears about this and sets to a location in Central America with two of his students to find out what is going on. He settles down to a village full of fear for the unknown threat looming in the jungle. Levine plans to go and see what is out there, even after he's threatened by a mysterious official to keep his nose out of things that aren't of his concern.
The crooked officials try to find and arrest Levine but he escapes to the jungle before they find him, willing to risk his life to find out the truth.
Levine's little team enters an area that is being seperated by electric fence. As soon as they get past it, they are attacked by a pack of venom spitting Dilophosaurs. The Costa Rican guide that was with them gets killed.
As soon as Levine manages to scramble away he is captured by agents working for Biosyn Corporation and is taken to an underground complex holding eight dinosaur species, the following being,
Stegosaurus
Dilophosaurus
Velociraptor
Pachycephalosaurus
Juvenile Tyrannosaurus
Ankylosaurus
Chameleon Allosaurus
Spinosaurus
Levine realizes that Biosyn was behind the mayhem all along. They plan to genetically alter the species they have for research that uses new genetic data to map out the genome of a dinosaur. A program for super dinosaurs is also being planned for the military. Levine opposes the idea and tries to prevent them from manipulating the dinosaurs.
Without warning the facility is stormed by officials and Levine is told that the dinosaur epidemic has gotten worse. There are now more species escaping to the United States and the government has been called together for an emergency meeting. Levine learns the horrible truth about the dinosaurs carrying a decease called DX that was spawned by Biosyn's experiments with lamb proteins. The decease can infect humans and cause a deadly form of a brain fiever that kills the infected person in one day. The military has been called to hunt down the dinosaurs before the decease spreads.
As Levine is released by the officials Dodgson lets loose a Spinosaurus that takes off, destroying a lot of hardware in the process. The dinosaur is put down by a pack of Raptors that have escaped through the ventilation system without anyone knowing it. Levine is attacked by the Raptors and left stranded in the jungle surrounding the facility. Levine fights to survive the dinosaur breakout and finally gets into contact with two chameleon like Allosaurs. As the area is finally found to be safe Levine gathers all the survivors and trecks back to the village, but finds it destroyed and abandoned. As he gets back to civilization he learns that the world is drastically changing as the dinosaurs start to spread around the globe without control. Humanity now has to adapt in order to survive the decease and share the world with it's new old habitants.

Hopefully this is good enough for you. I'm not telling you that this is the exact premise we should use, but, in order to change it, you must have ideas that are good, intelligent, and fit into the film's pace. This is what the real filmmakers in Hollywood do, sometimes well and sometimes not so well. Our challenge is to be able to stay at the good side. Any ideas are welcome, and, as I already said, be free to change mine as much as you want. Just remember, make it work.

We'll start as soon as you're free to do so.